#and ive been completely and totally overwhelmed

[uwooyoungs]

//

[the-s1lly-corner]

Sleepover w/ the digital circus cast

been a while since ive written this style of post for tadc, but im on my computer again so hopefully writing so much wont be too grating! reminder that i do not currently take requests for the entire cast in one post-

notes: reader is gn, not really romantic, written with the idea that everyone is having a sleepover in the main area of the circus

cws: bugs

caine

does not sleep but he wants to feel included, hes the one providing the games and activities for the night, as well as bedding for everyone to use

pretends to sleep, probably totally incapable of sleeping unlike the circus members... fake snores to try to sell it and make it convincing but all it does is it keeps everyone else awake

the games mentioned are usually an exaggerated and insane version of them- truth or dare but if you lie or refuse a dare you were given you get locked in the cellar/j

oh he definitely would try to get some juicy conversation with you or another circus member- god forbid you show some small sign that youre crushing on someone, hes not going to leave you alone

even worse if he finds out you actually do and who it is

his version of spin the bottle might get a little insane, knowing him.. definitely rigs it lands on whoever you like

pomni

not very interested, but if this takes place post episode 2 shes more inclined to join everyone for the night to get to know everyone better

if you two have grown close she sticks with you during the insane games caine has set out

completely opts out of any games that look way too intense but she probably gets roped into it by some of the others- or simply being swept into the chaos

sleeps off to the corner a bit away from everyone else so she can at least try to get a good nights sleep

if SOMEONE (jax, or even caine) gets too overwhelming or annoying she just gets up and goes to her room... you might be able to coax her back out

ragatha

as mentioned in jax's section, she offers to let you lay next to her if jax is bothering you

if you ask her, she does your hair before you go to bed. brushing through it and if its long enough she ties/braids it up for you

if you have a sleep set- unlikely given that they cant take their clothes off but we can pretend caine snapped his fingers and changed everyones clothing or something- she compliments how it looks.. if its cute or if it looks comfortable

if youre still awake and open to it she talks to you quietly when she cant sleep, its actually a nice change of pace against the chaos of when everyone else was awake

you dont talk about much, you just check in on each other and ramble about nothing in specific... keep it down or caine will come on over and try to insert himself

jax

hes the reason the cw is here, hes going to put bugs in your blankets if you guys arent sharing his room. if the two of you are in your room, or if you guys are in the common area hes going to do it.. or put something else thats unpleasant there..

thinks its funny, knowing him he might actually laugh a little off to the side as you thrash your sleeping bag around

snack hoarder, especially if theres candy- good luck trying to get more than a handful from him, hes not much of a sharer

tries to play everything off when someone offers to let you come lay down next to them for the night- likely ragatha

tells the most grotequse and horrifying stories before everyone else goes to sleep

"first person game mcs dont blink" is said as everyone is trying to unwind or something along those lines

kinger

has the softest and comfiest pillows and blankets, from his fort of course! likely sleeps in it rather than out and exposed on the floor with everyone else

makes it a little larger so you can crawl inside with him- its a lot calmer in here than anything thats happening out there

small talk, you both talk about your interests though due to kingers nature the conversation bounces around a lot

he doesnt participate in the games for the most part, especially if its after a high energy adventure... hes a little drained after the day- physically and mentally

sleeps with at least an arms length of space between the two of you unless you tell him youre comfortable with him being closer

dad snores

zooble

not very interested, probably stays in their room for most of the night if not the entire night

if theyre around when jax is telling scary stories they just roll their eyes... theyve heard worse

zooble being a horror/disturbing media fan headcanon my beloved, they probably try to one up him... though theyre not taking it very seriously. theyre not all that interested in winning, but jax is and hes going to get annoying

if they go out and interact with everyone else, theyll go to their room when theyre ready to sleep. they dont want to sleep on the floor in some sleeping bag.. offers to walk you to your room if the horror talk got to you

gangle

sits in her own corner doing her own thing, you can convince her to join in on the more tame games if you promise to stick with her

sticks around with you after that but like... lingering to the side, not really glued to your side because she doesnt want to invade your personal space or make you feel uncomfortable

very quiet if you offer to let her lay down next to her in the night

its a little less awkward if her comedy mask isnt broken but knowing how fragile it is, its unlikely

refuses to participate in any games like 2 truths 1 lie or truth or dare- she just knows jax is going to hang whatever she says over her head even if hes not the one asking her questions

[redr0sewrites]

Sub!Eris Vanserra Thoughts/Hcs

this maaannnnnn ive been brainrotting sub eris foreverrr im kinda tired and my writing is kinda mid recently but i had to write this

🥀Cw: smut, sub!eris, marking, begging, praise, degrading, oral (m receiving), overall filth, reader is gn and can be read as a strap or actual dick

Eris is such a brat, hes cocky and confident and most people would never suspect that hed ever submit

he doesn't relinquish control often, and you didn't think that was something he would ever be into until one night. you were riding him, and the both of you were sweaty and overstimulated with pleasure. His hips rutted up desperately, his arousal making his head hazy.

"ple- nghh, please mistress- it feels so good-" his pupils were blown out, hair tussled and chest heaving. He froze immediately, realizing what he had just said. You paused too, his words making you even more aroused then before

"you like that, little fox? like it when i make you beg?" eris doesnt meet your eyes, but you already know his answer

"if you want me to move again, you're going to have to ask nicely" his hips jerk up slightly, yet you force him back down, rolling your hips as a strained whine leaves his hips. Lets just say that it was quite an interesting night~

After that, Eris began to become more comfortable with being submissive

it definitely took some time for him to get used too, but he trusts you

love love LOVES when you tie him up, he wants to be completely at your mercy

pleASEEE praise him, this mf has the biggest praise kink. He needs to know how good he is, what a good job hes doing, how hes making you feel...

When you praise him, his eyes get glossy and his brain goes blissfully blank, he just need you so bad! he wants to be good for you, he really does

however, despite his love of praise, he can be a major brat....

eris will mercilessly tease you all in the hopes that you will rail him stupid, degrading him and biting deep hickeys into his firm shoulders as his knuckles turn white from gripping the sheets, eyes rolling in pleasure because its all so much, too much~

DEGRADE HIM‼️‼️‼️ SAY THE MEANEST SHIT TO HIM, PULL HIS HAIR AND BEND HIM IN HALF

has a reverse size kink, he LOOOVESSS if ur smaller than him yet still pin him down and restrain him. he adores it when you take control

sometimes, you tease him as well

say for example, hes very stressed doing his high lord duties- what better way to relieve his stress then sucking him off? crawling under his desk while hes working, he cant even focus from the overwhelming pleasure from your mouth around his cock. eris is biting his lip so hard it draws blood trying not to make a sound, yet soft whimpers keep slipping through. it only makes you more aroused, and one hand grips your hair roughly while the other clings to the desk, shaking with need as his eyes roll back

when hes angry, he adores it when your rough. fold him in half, his knees pressing up against his chest as you rail him senseless, your cock is so deep inside him, nudging his prostate so well and making his thoughts so fuzzy<3

overall, eris just loves it when you take control<333

i swear im trying to write more school is kicking my ass guyssss JAJSJSJ. IM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED I FINISHED THIS THO- FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE ACOTAR REQS IVE BEEN HAVING A TOTAL ACOTAR BRAINROT!!! I HAVE MORE ERIS STUFF COMING ALONG WITH SOME AZRIEL STUFF ROTTING IN MY DRAFTS LMAO

[85-rend]

yknow what I'm gonna say this now. heyyy pressure fandom I know yall might not be familiar with ask/rp blog courtesy on here, im someone whos run ask/rp blogs before and ive been here for years as well, please please PLEASE do not main fandom tag every single ask response!!!

it completely overwhelms the tag and makes it impossible for people to find anything else!! its rlly rude! you can totally main tag your ask responses occasionally especially if it has some art or writing youre proud of or when you're looking for more interactions!! but please do not main tag every single one.

I feel so bad i've had to block so many bc i literally could not see any other posts......

[bil-daddy]

Mr bildad the shuhite, I need some advice. What do I do when that familiar overwhelming sadness washes over me? Ive been feeling horribly depressed lately, even though I have no real reason to be. I do talk to my friends abt this, but I dont want to talk abt my mental state ONLY and drive them away, so I refrain from talking abt it too much even tho it feels like it will drown me, because I am too afraid of seeming clingy.

Its been getting worse lately, and all I can do is distract myself from it. Ive been excessively sleeping just to not.. feel. I dont know what to do, nor do I know how to not feel this way

I made myself a nice breakfast, and it felt good. And then the feeling came back, like a drip drip drip from the leaking faucet of my mental health I cant control. I am scared. I am so scared

Sorry if this ask wasnt what u were expecting, or if u cant help me either, thats completely fine. I just needed to share somehow how scared I am. Of myself, what I feel I dont know

I dont know. I just dont know

Best wishes,

Anon❤️

*shows up one month late carrying six shots of espresso in a big cup to answer this ask*

It's taken me a while to respond to this because 1) I've been going through a bit of the same thing myself and 2) I haven't figured out a solution yet.

I do have some ideas, though.

You were on the right track, making yourself a nice breakfast. Little things like that make a bigger difference than you think. In fact, I think we should all try to live in the little moments as much as we can. Sometimes, when you're feeling depressed but can't point at a reason in your own life, it's because you're reacting to large scale problems that, while very real, are out of your control--and you know this, and so you feel depressed and scared because there's nothing you can do.

But there is something you can do.

Do at least one thing nice for yourself everyday as part, even if it's something really small. Especially something really small. Listen to your favourite song. Eat a piece of chocolate, just because. Play with a pet, if you have one.

And, if you're up to it, do at least one nice thing for someone else, too. Help your parents with the chores. Call a grandparent and brighten their day. Send a kind message to a friend.

Because you should keep on talking to your friends. The right friends will be honoured you've opened up to them. Listen to your friends, too. They might be going through things to, and being a comfort to them might in turn make you feel better, as well. Being part of a community, even if it's just a small group of friends--or even a group of two--can really help. Having you a sense of purpose, belonging, and importance is part of what makes people people.

Sleeping a lot isn't necessarily bad. Ive done that myself (for totally normal amounts of time, definitly not entire century or anything) Sometimes, your body and your mind just needs the rest. But if you feel like you're sleeping too much, then you probably need something exciting to be awake for.

It might be time to try out a new hobby, start a new TV show or book, take a class, or set a new goal that you can work towards a little bit every day. The mind craves new experiences and challenges. If everything's been the same for a while, depression can set in simply due to boredom.

However, there could just as easily be other causes, which are worth looking into with a therapist and a psychiatrist, if you want to try the medical route--and it is worth a try with persistent depression.

It sounds to me like you also have some anxiety about having depression, since it scares you (and rightfully so, it is scary) that you can feel it coming on and that you can't control it. For that, in addition to what I've already mentioned above, I'd suggest thinking about it differently. Instead of leaking faucet you're desperately trying to shut off, let yourself feel whatever emotions you're feeling*

(*safely and within reason--don't harm yourself or others)

Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let it out.

Sometimes, the sadness we fear feeling ends up not being as bad as the fear of it. You might feel relieved, once you're no longer bottling everything up and sleeping/distracting yourself to avoid feeling sad. As cliche as a it is, the only way out is through.

Have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey. You can do it.

[divorcetual]

idk idk. A loy of people will hear. a character trapped/tortured/etc for an unrrasonably long time (~100 years in yhis case) and bcs its like. not actually possible they kinda just brush it off, right. But I Cant do that w/ Yoki bcs Im In Too Deep. So ive thought about ut again and again and again and again and again

Like. Yoki was begond his normal lifespan when he git crushed in the debris. He was ~20 when he got the bug, and about 80 years after that he got trapped (I use even number like 20 years old, 80 years later, 100 years under the debris, 500 years in the future, etc. to make things easier and so I dony have to remember exact numbers, but its usually not Exactly that number).

So i mean its not like he was this kid who got trapped, he was a 100 y/o soldier in the midst of battle. But I still think. like. Yoki didnt get the bug because he didnt want to die or smth, and if he had been able to move at all under the debris he probably would have crushed his bug and killed himself. It's just yhe test of the time hes very apathetic about his life- he doesnt stay alive because he enjoys living, it's just that he idnt miserable enough at the moment to go iut of his eay and inflict pain on himself to die.

That was a tangent though. Back on track, Im thinking about Yoki's solitude. Even in solitaty confinement (though still atrocious and inhumane), you're able to walk around, get meals, and speak. Though very limited, thse can at least slightly mitugate the effects. Though, Yoki had none of this. He was impaled through the head, preventing any speech, and pinned down by the weight of the debris which prohibited movement. Honestly regardless of that, i think over a 100-year period the effects wpuld be similar regardless.

Even though his musles and vocal chords couldnt atrophy due to the cellres bug, his mental capacities and knowledge certainly could. If you forget half of your highschool class knowledge just a couple months after you graduate because you don't use it, then over the hundred years Yoki lost knowledge of most things. Even basic survival needs were forgotten.

The human brain has a limited amount of knowledge and insight. If our brains are made to function and consume knowledge for some 80 years, then we only have 80 years worth of things to think about, and even less when you're rapidly forgetting it all. Having only his thoughts could only go so far. Eventually he ran out of things to ponder, questions to answer, memories to look at.

A lot of Yoki's entrapment had him only semi-lucid, it being the only way for his mind to protect itself. His only source of stimulation besides the consistent apin of being crushed and impaled was rapid mood swings between every extreme, and then total apathy. This was repeated on a loop for the majority of the isolation, until even that got dull

And even after he was freed, it wasn't fixed. Having lived without light for so long, he couldn't handle the sun- especially off of the blinding snow- for years. He had to retrain his eyes and esrs and skin to be able to hear and see and touch without completely overwhelming them. Starting from inside the debris and continuing sfter he got out, he would experience constant delsions, hallucinations, and irregular, jumbled thoughts. It likely took almost a lifrtime to recover into how he is now.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Fic Author Questions

@curator-on-ao3 thank you for tagging me in this new set of fic author questions! I had a lot of fun answering. ❤️

1. Why do you write fanfic?

I guess I stuck with it and stayed inspired largely because ive found really wonderful communities in fanfiction, whether its coming together to share in one beautiful AU story or different iterations of canon or just experiencing the joy of writing together. and having those communities has sustained me through some very isolated years and have been overall a positive experience in my life. ive made really wonderful friends through fanfic.

But I can't deny that I got into fanfic because my brain just fixated on one story and i had the overwhelming urge to put it on paper and so a smaller motivation is that there continue to be stories like that that motivate me to keep writing fic.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I guess just by virtue of planning the sequel at the moment, I think about and reread Unbroken alot

I have also had the Universe to Mend in my mind since last year and keep coming back to the two versions of Janeway i explored in that and where I left the two of them. and thinking about the other characters too: Mortal Q and Captain Chakotay and Stadi/Tuvok and where they might wind up next.  I have a few ideas for what might come next so I suspect there's at least one sequel on the horizon somewhere.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Deadlines help you set goals and motivate yourself, but you don't owe them to your readers.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

So, and this has been a very good thing for my self esteem and general mental health, working with data all day has made me really ambivalent about my story stats. They're interesting and useful when I have a specific question I want to answer with them but the rest of the time I no longer pay much attention to them.

The stats that I do focus on are all things I measure - timeframe to chapter/story completion, average words per chapter, total word count. Those help me set realistic expectations for myself and help me work on my goals of having healthy writing habits and writing more concise stories.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss writing Threshold AU!!!!

I want to again and will again, but having had like... negative amounts of writing time this summer and being fixated on a new long story, lots of others have taken a backseat. i really miss the cameraderie of writing threshold au stories and the freedom and joy I get from working with that really original fresh premise - it frees me to experiment and be a bit more imaginative. im sad i havent had time for it in a while.

6. What motivates you to write?

A story takes up residence in my head and its beautiful and tempting and I cannot rest until I have delved in and explored it. Thoroughly.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

communities and friendships do a lot to help keep me inspired, both while continuing old longstanding stories and developing new ideas. and ive found this with Sailor Moon and Star Trek. I doubt i would be as prolific in either fandom without those communities.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I shove it in the back somewhere and work on other things until ive figured out what I dont like about it thats got me stuck. sometimes it works out that I just need a better idea of where the story is going. and then the story gets finished. and sometimes i find myself realizing the premise is a good one but the execution isnt.  and then if ive already started posting it, i put it in my "Under Review" collection (an unrevealed AO3 collection only I can see) and figure out if i can rework the story from the ground up or if it isnt going to get finished. I've got 3 in there right now.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

That it is actually a huge boost in inspiration to get a nice one. and that it's okay to leave short ones.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

My write in question: Do you create or want to try other types of fanworks?

Just for me i make playlists for characters to help inspire me for fics. sometimes i dabble in fanart. drawing is always really relaxing.

im also facinated by bookbinding. it looks like a really fun physical craft to build even if it looks complicated. i'd love to learn more about how it works.

A lot of my people i usually tag are tagged already so If you want to respond with your own please do!

[trouticide]

as someone who really vibes with the way that lixxen described Charlie's gender, I will put in my 2 cents: some people are so disinterested in the idea of gender or binaries that even labels like nonbinary or genderfluid or trans are kind of dysphoria inducing. I don't identify with any gender nor with any trans identity because it just doesn't make sense to my brain. I think Charlie would be similar because there is seemingly no conscious decision for when or why he identifies a certain way and he really doesn't seem to care. Also, I think everyone has their own headcanon about how Charlie/Joyce identifies and how they experience gender, and that's largely based on an individual experience with gender. So if you don't really get it or relate to OP's interpretation, maybe it's just because that is their own personal way of seeing things. It doesn't mean you can't headcanon charlie as fluid or trans, just that we all see things differently. hope my rambling makes sense, and it is sent with positivity and respect!! and I am not trying to speak over the OP who has their own insight, or anyone else, we are all unique!

(sorry for anon, i would reblog but i'm not out and some people know about my blog)

ok just to be totally clear, i experience gender the same way and agree with OPs interpretation. however i am also going through a major identity crisis and have been trying to figure out if i specifically am trans or if this is just an autistic gender expression thing. so when i reblogged and said what i said it wasn't meant to be taken as a disagreement. i was looking for clarification because i super identified with it and i'm confused about myself lol i have a lot of trauma similar to charlie's and i operate pretty similarly in my life because of it, so it's been therapeutic for me to use his character arch to help me work through some other things. for a huge part of my life i didn't identify with any gender identity at all because i experienced what you mentioned about all labels feeling dysphoric. i still feel that way but i think that may be able to be resolved if i actually take the time to think about it critically and *try* to find a label. i don't really understand labels, similarly to you it just doesn't make sense to me. but i'm at a point in my life where i think i have to work through the pain and discomfort of it and learn to understand it because the anxiety i feel from not having a label is too overwhelming to ignore. up until this point ive just dressed freely and acted freely so i didn't really have to look at labels at all. same thing with sexuality, i just dated who i wanted to. but that got me into a lot of trouble, i ended up with a man for three and a half years when im absolutely an acespec lesbian. i didn't know that at the time though because the thought of labeling my sexuality very deeply stressed me out. but now that ive figured it out and worked through it that stress is gone and i can start actually living my life. i think i could go through the same thing with this, even if i do end up just settling on no labels or that this is just how i experience gender as an autistic person, completely unrelated to being trans. i really don't know yet, but i know no harm will come from me thinking about it and asking questions. all input is good input, so i appreciate this ask!! so yeah tldr agree with everything you and @lixxen said i'm just using joyce as a vent kin to figure out whether im trans or just autistic and gnc

[syrupspinner]

i completed Sable

im gonna compare this to so many other games dude you have no idea

when i first finished the tutorial and drove out into the sand dunes proper, i thought about hyrule field. like pretty much every other gamer born after 1999, i dont see it the same way is was seen when it was released. it was a flex - nintendo bragging about how the n64 can make a wide open field. of course theres nothing to do in it, thatd give them a chance to hide a loading zone or mask pop-in; they werent just a magician showing that there was nothing up their sleeve, they took off their shirt. this is what amazed gamers when they first left kakariko village: the sheer scope.

now its just a big, empty field. with technological advancements, thats seen as a failure in modern world design - what, you mean you couldnt be bothered to put anything here?

sable somehow managed to capture what i can only imagine was the sense of wonder players felt seeing hyrule field, but for a totally different reason. it wasnt a flex of pure technology, it was an exercise in ludonarrative! the way it gets you comfortable with exploring every nook of the ibexii village before showing you a world thats figuratively one hundred times bigger is such a fun way to pull the rug out from the player.

it could have easily been overwhelming in a negative way too, causing an "aw man, ive gotta explore all this?" reaction, but the narrative of sable being able to (instead of having to) explore sets the player up to share this outlook with her. "i get to" turning into "i have to" is the kiss of death for enjoying a game, and i think sable avoids this very well. when i got to the badlands, i didnt think "aw man, i have to climb all these rocks to get to the cartographer" i thought "oh cool, how do i climb these rocks to get to the cartographer?" because i was having fun solving an environmental puzzle.

another comparison i wanna make is to, believe it or not, Fallout. its an open secret that the fallout games are a bit lackluster when it comes to open worlds (I HAVE NOT PLAYED NEW VEGAS), but the originals had a great implementation of subtle directioning and signposting. the most famous example is right at the beginning: between your starting location and your compass's first mark, theres a town, and you need to buy a rope from that town to proceed, and thats how you get wrapped up in a major sidequest and open up a link to the rest of the world. Sable pulls the same trick for me: i was following the compass to the next major village, and i stumbled upon a weird location i couldnt really parse. i could climb a tree and pick up weird smokey seed things, but i couldnt do anything else. when i get to the town, im asked to collect beetle hides for a side quest - and that 'useless' location was called the beetle nest.

while im comparing this to bethesda games, id be remiss if i didnt mention skyrimming. its a phrase i use to describe ramming yourself up a nearly sheer cliffside to see if the physics engine lets you scale it. i did it all the time as a misguided tween playing skyrim for the first time, because i couldnt be bothered finding paths up the mountains. Sable lets you do something similar, but with more intention. the games open world design means it totally accepts you taking unintended routes. i didnt take the easiest route to the badlands village, but i still got there. allowing me to succeed in an unintended way is the mark of a wonderful open world game.

i got to eccria, and full disclosure, i had to crank my graphics settings all the way down. there were too many buildings and npcs for the game to handle. i kept getting lost in the big-ass city, too. when the investigation (side?)quest began i gave up on gathering clues because i straight up couldnt find my way to one of the suspects. i could still finish the quest is the thing, it just ended without any real satisfaction. i think thats great! part of good open-ended design is letting players end without perfectly curated satisfaction.

then i went to the shipyard. was i supposed to be there? thats a silly question to ask about an open world game. anyway, the answer is no, because i spent half an hour trying to climb a mountain for a quest i couldnt finish because i didnt have the right mask. man, this game rules.

man, i havent even talked about the art direction yet. what is there to say? im a sucker for cell shading, and this game leans into it so well! the way the colour palette changes when you go between areas is so cool, like... i cant even put it into words, its just so fun to look at. ive always considered deserts a hard place to make visually interesting, but Sable does such a great job with that

it was at this point that i started aimlessly floating around finishing up sidequests and oddjobs until the endgame. i only started noticing how glitchy the game is at this point. im not holding it against the game at all, because frankly its a miracle that any video game boots to a title screen if you know how programming works (not to say that i do) but its hard not to complain about all the times that things just... didnt load in. sometimes id crash my bike into invisible buildings, sometimes i would just despawn of my bike and have to dismount it to be visible, and one time a chum was invisible. this isnt a skill issue i watched the particles come out of nowhere

in the end, this is a wonderful game. if i had to pick one thing it does best, its the atmosphere. it puts all of its effort into making you feel like a small fish in a big desert, and i really related to my character in the world. also, i dont wanna spoil what masks you get in this game, so ill just say i picked the completionist one with the four-letter name. no its not the fuck mask, dont ask me if theres a fuck mask because im not telling you

[blookmallow]

been watching blues clues for The Nostalgia but also because i work in special education and i feel like it's a really good inspiration for like... good, positive, constructive interactions with kids. i feel like im learning from it in a completely different way now

here are some of my thoughts on why blues clues is good and why i think its better/more effective than a lot of other kids shows

steve's absolute genuine love comes through so strong. he's silly, but he's never over-acting in that weird hyper exaggerated style you see so often in kids shows. he's not a "MY SISTER DID WWWHHHAAAAAAT???!?!?!? (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT) (GONE WRONG)" youtube guy. he's just a sweet funny guy who likes kids. there's a reason all of us who grew up with him felt like he was family to us

on that note too, everything in blues clues is so.... calm. it's quiet, but not eerily quiet. it's colorful, but not obnoxiously eye-searing bright. everything is soft. everything is gentle. i feel totally relaxed and safe just from watching the opening. kids media is so often just an overwhelming sensory overload of explosive color and sound and grating voices but blues clues is so chill. and yet, somehow, also not boring. kids media doesn't have to be extreme chaos to appeal to children and it makes a lot of sense to me that a lot of the autistic kids i work with love blues clues

the "talking to the audience" is handled so well, and as a certified hater of "do YOU see the RED BARN?????? ..................................................................THERE it is!!!!!" styles of talking to children (no offense to anyone who enjoys dora but yes I am talking about dora) i feel like somehow steve pulls it off very well. i think it's partly the fact that he does not over-exaggerate and he does not talk down to the kids watching. when he asks "can you help me?" he's asking like he really cares about your input, wants to hear your ideas, and values your opinion, not like he's praising a dog

the addition of the "audience" kid voices responding to him helps so much with those weird awkward pauses too while "you" respond, but again not a loud busy sitcom audience - it gives the feeling of sitting in a playroom with a couple other kids. it's less "going to see an interactive play" and more "steve's having some friends over." it's cozy. it's friendly. i like it

ive also been noticing that frequently when steve asks the audience for help, it's not "do YOU see the RED BARN" with a giant red barn directly in front of his face, it's things like this

the clue is visible to us, but steve can't see it from where he is, so it makes sense that he needs our help to find it

when he's trying to figure out the answer to a question, he gives the kids a chance to solve it/to Help Him by like, giving silly solutions - so it's more "steve is being silly" and less "steve is an idiot who doesn't know anything." it's a game, he's playing with us, he's making us laugh and encouraging us to show him what we know, rather than being frustratingly incompetent and waiting silently motionless for us to tell him the obvious answer

i watched a joe episode to see how his era felt- all i remember was i didn't like him as much specifically just because he wasn't steve. even as a child i respected what i believed was steve's decision to go to college, but it just felt too different. looking at it now as an adult understanding the real steve's reasons and giving it an open mind, i think joe also does all these things very well. he's a little... i guess he feels "brighter" (personality-wise) while steve feels more "calm/relaxed" but joe also seems genuine, and isn't doing the over-exaggerated character to the point of Obnoxious either. i think the only reason i was so hard on him was because he wasn't steve. nobody can be steve. joe does a good job being joe

also noticed he's left handed which always makes me a little bit happy inside. lefty solidarity. and i caught a couple times he used sign language signs in his songs (i noticed it because "thank you" is one some of our students use so I recognized it, i don't know very many signs so I don't know how often this was present and I didn't notice) which is cool

but then there was this one segment about colors i remembered from when i was a kid where, i thought, steve was telling us about colors, and it was where i learned about the color "chartreuse" which i then remembered for the rest of my life. i loved it because i at this age already knew my colors, i knew red and blue make purple, but this showed me next level color combinations. we all know yellow and blue make green, but yellow and green makes chartreuse? I had no idea it had a name other than "yellow-green."

but it turns out it wasn't steve

it was joe. joe taught me chartreuse and i remembered it forever. ive won trivia questions because of this before. thank you joe. respect

then i watched one of the new blues clues & you episodes (with current host josh) and it looks like there's a lot more signing mixed in - not stopping to Teach the signs, but just using them for key words occasionally, which is a really cool way to kind of incidentally teach kids some signs

blues clues & you... is very disorienting for me because it's So different to look at, there's a lot more characters on the screen at one time so there's just. a lot of movement happening, but it doesn't feel Chaotic either, it just feels like that original super chill cozy vibe is kind of lost now. i don't like the 3D animated puppies. they don't look Terrible, i just don't like it, personally.

none of the other characters are 3D, it's only blue and magenta, which makes them feel... out of place, somehow? they're animated in a completely different style than anything else in the room and it feels like they're not supposed to be there. maybe the intention was to have blue and josh stand out from the background but it feels really weird

i don't like how the songs are done. josh's energy doesn't feel quite right to me and i can't figure out why? i think it's like one level higher than the others or something, it's not quite the Over-Exaggerated Chaos level but it's a little less relaxed

i like how they talk about like... states of feeling, though, shovel comes out of the pool and says they feel cold and wet, so josh gives them a towel to feel better. tickety tock feels too hot, so josh gives her a hat to feel better. this is a concept we work on a lot at my school, learning to recognize how you feel and what you can do to help regulate it

plus that gives us this blessed image of tickety tock in a little sun hat. my life has been improved by this

ultimately i think maybe it's just that it's too different for me, i can't place anything specifically "wrong" other than "it's different and I don't like it." anyway anyone want to talk about blues clues

[fairycosmos]

confession....I haven't done my dishes in like 3 months except for like 2 forks and plates that I use, for real it's the worst thing to do in the world plus my depression (and autism) makes it a thousand times harder lol luckily no one but me sees my kitchen

hii it can be really really difficult to stay on top of daily tasks when literally all of your energy is going into getting through the day itself! i totally understand and i think a lot of people who have been there do. proud of you for managing to get the dishes you use cleaned and proud of you for still being here. i hope you can practice some self-compassion (no matter how difficult or fake it feels) in regards to this as you go forward. it's easy to internalise shame over it - people talk a lot about depression but the realities of it are still often looked down on. but ultimately, what ive noticed in my struggles with similar issues is that the more i put pressure on myself, the more my brain relates completing the tasks to the negative feeling of being under pressure, and the more overwhelmed i get, and the further into the cycle i sink. so just doing what you can and every so often doing one dish or spoon or fork more is actually probably much more productive for your mental well-being in the long run, because you're not judging or hating yourself over it and feeding that internal sickness - you're working with the energy you have in the moment and that's fine. sending a massive hug your way x 🫂

[dropish]

hi! i absolutely love the bloom legacy and have played it a few times, and i was wondering if you planned to update it or expand upon it in the future? or even if you have another challenge cooking up? :D

hey anon :) !! im so glad to hear you like it, this ask 100% made my day

to be totally honest i haven't touched my game since before the infant update because i've been completely overwhelmed with Real Life Obligations but i was planning come back to it once everything settles down! ive been working a little bit on a part 2 to the challenge but ill also update the main one to include some of the new gameplay features at some point. and i have some other ideas as well so stay tuned hehe :)

[skitskatdacat63]

okay, i don't know why, but i have ALWAYS been like you described. i have so many movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, songs, etc that i want to experience but do i? nope, just put on another F1 race, please. i don't know if it's fear of the unknown (hello, flood of unexpected emotions!) or not wanting to challenge myself or also wanting to watch F1 and F1 just wins out, but here we are. i suspect it's part of my OCD? or some other ND thing that hasn't been diagnosed in me yet??

in fact prolly the only reason i watch F1 is bc i watch it with my sister. it is a lot easier to do new stuff with someone else...which deludes me into believing that if i just got a partner, we could open the floodgates and watch everything i haven't seen together, but lord knows it don't work that way 😑 in any case, i don't know what's wrong with us, but you're not alone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! 💕💕

(Reply ramble under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected)

I think I just struggle to start anything new or to finish anything. I totally agree with what you said about it being the fear of unexpected emotions/the unknown! Like for race seasons for example, I just spent a significant amount of time immersed in 2005 which is a specific set of information(you know: rules, strategy, drivers, etc.), so to start a new season would be a completely different set of info. As I said in my earlier tags, some part of me likes the anticipation more and also I always get way too hyper about things and that energy is overwhelming 😓 And I also feel like I have a fear about how much time I'm going to spend(which is stupid because I'll spend like way too much time aimlessly scrolling for the same amnt of time it'd take to watch a race.) Like the idea of specifically putting aside two hours to do only one thing is stressful to me, which is why I often used to like watching races when I literally couldn't do anything else(waiting for a class.) But now I'm stuck back in the cycle of not wanting to start something new, even if 2009 isnt exactly new because I've watched a lot of racing at this point, but still new enough to me that it's hard to convince my brain to start it. Like once I get into the groove of things, I can float through and enjoy myself, it's just that beginning barrier that's hard to get through.

I also definitely agree with having to watch it with someone else. I either have to binge watch things super quickly or watch them with other people, if not, I'll just end up never starting it or abandoning it. I think it's because it's really nice to be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings abt it with another person and not just be stuck with a million thoughts bouncing around your head(which is why I tend to make posts and then rant in the tags LOL)

I think thats why ive been able to get into F1 to such an extent and why it's been so fun for me. It's a live experience(with a strict time constraint, i.e. you can only watch it right here, right now) where there's a bunch of people watching and interacting. I love tumblr during a race weekend so much, I don't think I'd be obsessed with it as much if not for the ability to see everyone's reactions and interact back with them. I think that's why I struggle to start old seasons, because it's literally just me obsessing alone in my room and I can't talk about it to the extent that I can with the current season. Watching F1 as it goes along in a current season is just a perfect experience I guess, because the schedule pushes me along and I don't really have to rely on myself to keep going.

But yeah who knows!! Brain just being brain as always I guess, but it is annoying that it prevents us from doing things we want to do! But I will say, still, its so stupid that I procrastinate over watching 10 minute long YouTube vids LMAO, like pls I get the hesitation with a 2 hour race, 2 hour movie or 100k fic but, 10 minutes, seriously brain???

[duck-era-lexi]

finished that fucking spencer reid fic and my life is not the same. i am not the same person i was 2 hours ago before reading that ROLLERCOASTER of a fic. i cannot believe persephonesgrace was the person to get me out of my 4 month reading slump. like ive been picking up books for 2 months and just putting them down halfway through because i cannot get through them.

wnwn is enthralling and intriguing and beautiful and it’s genuinely such a work of art. like there’s constant conflict but just the right amount of fluff. i’d say it has somewhat of a slow start but once you get to 25% it gets really good with the mystery factor. gave me massive manacled vibes but i like spencer reid as a character more than i like draco or hermione so i was so much more emotionally attached to this. 

it’s 218k words and the sequel’s 24k but it’s unfinished. which is fucking painful and i feel like i’ve felt that before. the sequel is so cute to read but it makes me sad because there is SO much potential. however i don’t have the same attachment to late show reid as a i do to early show reid so i don’t mind the series not continuing. it has a lot of conflict already set up but tbh, it’s a little too much conflict. like it’s bordering on stress with spencer and y/n’s internal struggle, as well as RAISING A CHILD, and how everyone wants to kill them and shit. like i totally understand why the author wouldn’t want to continue that because it’s stressing me out just thinking about all the plotlines trying to be intertwined. 

speaking of the author, let’s talk about the ending of the original 218k word fic. literally a fucking masterpiece. i am OBSESSED with thriller and romance, especially when it’s crafted as beautifully as this. as good as dead by holly jackson is probably my favorite book and it also does a combination of that. it’s also a very similar book to that, but this one is a lot more serious. i feel like with this, i realize sincerely that the best stories always leave you wanting more. this story has an ambigious ending that is generally sad, in like the way that it implies a lot of off-screen misery that we don’t see in detail. not to mention the fact that the person who wrote it didn’t have any social media linked. the story hasn’t been updated in a year and a half and i don’t think it will be coming back anytime soon. it’s not hard to see why, as the second project from what has been written looks to be even more complicated than the first. they reached too high for the clouds and got overwhelmed, probably. i wish we just had like a 50k word epilogue or something with mucho fluff, but honestly when you think about the storyline that would’ve been out of place. everytime a dragon head was slayed in the story 3 more dragon heads regrew in its place. we went from love confessions to mafia to corrupt society to soft parenthood to death in one fic. 

in conclusion, i have one more thing to note. i don’t think i will ever be able to re-experience how i felt reading that fic because i went in completely blind. the thriller and mystery aspect of it hit me like a truck. like i knew there was mystery but i didn’t know it would be so well orchestrated. the flashbacks were absolutely beautiful and paced so well; my jaw was on the floor the entire time. as i mentioned this fic completely flowed and changed in such a way that i didn’t predict even in the slightest. 

tldr: i love spencer reid. xoxo

[mummer]

lol was more depressed today than i have been in a really really long time like REALLY bad crying snot running down face for like 8 hours on and off. went outside to have a walk in the evening and even THEN i was crying on the WALK.... so so dire lol. its probably the weather and also that im newly jobless again so everything feels aimless and my days are completely empty but also the like totality of my aloneness or whatever has been overwhelming lately.... it's like im ashamed of being left behind and alone but ive reached a point where now i WANT to be left behind and alone because im too ashamed of anyone knowing the extent of it or talking to me about it. because it's so embarrassing and awful. Bad! Very overpowering recurring thoughts that There's no way out + Theres no way i can change + Theres no world where i am normal or happy + It's because there's something deeply wrong with me and everyone knows and can tell. because it's been so many years and nothing ive tried has ever worked. i feel totally locked out of like 80% of the human experience. Anyway whatever man i just dont have anywhere else to put this

[fragmented-light-sys]

I know this can be a difficult question to answer and not everyone is comfortable with it, so please don’t feel pressured to share more than you’re comfortable with. But how did you come to find out you were a system? What was it like? We’re there any signs before, or was it a total shock? How old was the body?

Asking because my friends are all convinced I have DID and I just can’t accept it and i don’t know what to do if they’re right so I’m looking for comfort in other peoples’ stories.

-a very confused and scared college student

this is gonna be a long post lol im sorry.

excuse the switching between we and i, we're kinda blurry and switchy idk.

before i say anything, i do have to say that we're undiagnosed so we dont have 100% proof but we are fairly certain in our suspicion and have done research before saying anything about this (which i recommend to you too; there's blogs on here that have plenty of papers on DID/OSDD research).

ive always felt like there was something going on that i couldnt explain with other mental health stuff (the dissociation, the missing trauma memories, the feeling that youre seperate people, the emotions that dont fit to how you would react, etc) but the only image i had of DID was what the media told me, so losing time n all that.

i did actually start researching DID/OSDD at one point in our life but that resulted in them trying to talk to me and me being completely overwhelmed by everything which lead to a severe shut down that i still cant quite fully understand.

the body is 24 and thats also the age that i started to explore this somehow. theres definitely systems that know way before that but theres really no age limit to discovering that youre a system.

coming to terms with being a system is a hard thing to do so when i did finally start looking into it and asking myself these questions, i was met with a huge amount of denial and the typical "but i cant be a system, i dont have the symptoms!" while being oblivious to the symptoms i did have that hinted towards it. i wasnt "shocked" persé, i was shocked in the way that i knew i had symptoms but still denied myself the chance of saying "maybe what happened to me really was that bad", if that makes sense.

i am by no means far in this. ive just started therapy and i have been trying to figure things out for a mere 5 months now and i am by no means close to understanding everything. so do take this with a grain of salt. and we have actually had to accept things for like 3 times now because everytime we got overwhelmed, someone came and made us forget things again.

please dont pressure yourself in having to discover this and dont let your friends pressure you either! something like this needs time and you have lots of time and its better to come to an informed and calm decision than doing harm with a rushed decision. just try to research for now and keep an open mind!

also id advice you to look for a professional if you really think this could be a possibility.

i hope i could somehow answer your questions, if you have any more questions, please ask, we're a little "out of it" today so it could be that i forgot to answer something.